I left Oklahoma City on a 107-degree clear and sun-baked day. I arrived in Portland with the afternoon overcast and rain threatening. Typical. It rains here 180 days a year. When folks ask me why I left Portland to come to Oklahoma—with a 14 year detour in Central and South America—I tell them the rain. But that is not the real reason. It is the politics and the culture here, both of which would be perfectly at home in San Francisco.
When West Coast types hear that I live in Oklahoma, the reactions vary from nervous laughter to sneering disdain. They see Oklahoma as a place of rednecks, guns, flags, horses, country music, trucks, Bible thumpers and Republicans. They are right.
I considered dressing less Oklahoma-like when coming here so as not to scare the locals. When in redneck land I sport Wranglers, cowboy boots, Stetson and Western belt. And of course my .38 Smith and Wesson is always at my side. If any nut case comes into a Sunday service when I am there and thinks to shoot to death a bunch of Christians, he will get an unwelcome surprise. Several, actually, all made of lead and traveling at 2000 feet per second.
I would enjoy going to my death never having shot another man. But that choice will not be mine to make.
In my 4 years in Oklahoma City I hardly have seen any bumper stickers supporting this-or-that liberal cause or politico. In Portland they are everywhere. Folks here slap them on their cars like badges of honor. They are simply advertising that they are members of the Liberal Tribe.
Which is why I decided to dress ‘full Oklahoma’ here. I am letting the locals know that I am not one of them, that I do not belong to their tribe. I get stares, sure. And my cowboy booted stride is a bit noisy. Suits me.
Sodomy is big here. The mayor-elect is a practicing homosexual, a point he made absolutely clear when campaigning. In Oklahoma candidates for office try to ‘out-Jesus’ each other, boasting about their love of God, Country and Family. I would bet that a man who bragged about his addiction to anal sex with hordes of strange males would not go very far in Oklahoma politics, ya’ think?
My brother and his family are Believers—you know, all that God, Jesus and Atonement stuff. Their home reminds me of a Roman fort built in barbarous lands. These served as the first stages of Roman conquest and occupation. If the US is ever again to be a house undivided the barbarous lands of the West and East Coasts will have to be conquered and occupied.
The effete barbarians among us scoff at such talk, but when push becomes shove they need to remember that the US military is by and large made up of Southern men who like guns.
End of argument.